This one time… at band camp…

December 22, 2009

It’s Chriiiiiiiiiistmas!! (Well….. almost)

Filed under: Uncategorized — anonomousangel @ 6:17 pm

Today marked the thrilling occasion that was me finishing my Christmas tests. My final exam was physics and while it wasn’t quite as good as I might have hoped I’m reasonably happy with it.
I hate the part after exams though, when you have the memories of the exams but not the results.
Was irish quite as as as I remember? (yes).
Did I do as well as I think in applied maths?? (I hope so).
Why is it that now I can think of exactly that I should have done to finish that last question in maths but 20 minutes of staring at it didn’t yield the answer during the actual exam (when I figure out the answer to that I’ll let you know)
I could have done a lot more preparation for the exams, it might have been helpful. For instance, the night before last i was considering doing some chemistry study, but I started reading Peter pan.
Last night I was reading peter Pan but I finished. I was in bed and warm and quite unwilling to move very far. The closest book happened to be my physics book. So rather than get up and find something else I just did some study.

Then in the exam this morning I had this wonderful moment, where one of the questions called for knowledge we hadn’t needed since about October, which I wouldn’t have know except that I’s gone over it the night before !! This was my first encounter of studying actually helping with an exam, I might try it more often now.

Anyway the exams are a thing of the past now, I don’t need to think about them until the next decade. Not saying that i won’t think about them, and dwell on them, but I’ll try not to. And Christmas is powerful enough that it should send those thoughts flying from my head, since I’ll be busy going “Presents!!!!” Like the childish, selfish person I can be when it comes to occasions such as these (and possibly other occasions too… )

Christmas holidays are officially here. The scene in school was great, people were grinning as the stowed books in lockers to be promptly forgotten about, exchanged Christmas cheer with everyone, excitedly discussed plans to celebrate and left the school as quickly as possible, walking up the horrendous steps for the last time in 2009.

Of course, with the big day only 3 days away gifts are on plenty of peoples minds. Whether it’s gifts being given to you or those that you’re planning on handing out. I get off fairly easily on the buying presents front, being the baby of the family I am exempt from buying for my siblings although they generally buy for me (won’t be able to get away with that for much longer but for now I’m young and jobless so it’s grand), my parents will approach me separately to make sure I know what I’m getting their other half and to give me the money to get whatever it is I have in mind.

Within my group of friends we do a secret santa, although there’s only 5 of us so we always know who got who. I wasn’t sure what to get this year but I’m really happy with what I got so that’s great.

So I’ve dealt with everyone else, it just remains to be seen what will be waiting under the tree for me on Friday morning. No matter how old I get I don’t think I’ll ever stop being excited by the prospect my presents under the tree on Christmas morning…. It just doesn’t seem possible that a pile of presents wouldn’t make me feel like I’m around 8 years old again… And that’s the way I like it!!

December 21, 2009

Senseless

Filed under: Uncategorized — anonomousangel @ 11:27 pm

I cannot see, I cannot read
Your face, your smile
I cannot interpret
I cannot judge
I am blind

I cannot speak
I cannot articulate
The feelings inside
Words fail me
I am dumb

I cannot hear
People who are not you
I can’t hear the discouragement
I block it out
I am deaf

I cannot feel
The harshness of reality
The coldness in the air
I’ve lost touch

I cannot think
I cannot breath
I’m senseless

December 19, 2009

Ah well

Filed under: Uncategorized — anonomousangel @ 8:15 pm

Only three exams left!!!
And two of them are in some of my best subjects so I’m not overly worried about them.
The third is chemisty, on Monday morning. As long as I do a bit of revision and remind myself about all the things my teacher was trying to teach while I was throwing things into my friend’s ridiculously bushy hair. But with a bit of revision I should do quite well.

Unfortunately, the irish language clearly wasn’t reading my blog the other day to notice that I really would have liked to be able to remember some of it for my test on Friday. I studied, I did, I tried really hard. but still when I was handed the paper I read it all over and all I had to say was “fuck”. The test went really really badly, I’m actually convinced I failed. But I don’t mind that much because I don’t have to think about it again until I get my results which won’t be for a good while yet.

And in just a few days it’s Christmas… the exams make it hard to get into the spirit but the tree in my sitting room is a handy reminder. Plus the watching christmas films and the sudden playing of board games with my family, all good signs.

I really kinda hate the way that we don’t get off school until right before Christmas, it kinda destroys the mood a bit, but then if I was sitting around I’d probably be sick of holidays before the actual holiday so maybe it’s for the best
Opinions?

December 17, 2009

Breakable

Filed under: Uncategorized — anonomousangel @ 10:29 pm

We are so fragile
Just a few harsh words will break our heart
And it cries tears like acid
Burning
So that even really cool plasters
With dinosaurs on
Can’t quite fix it up

We are so breakable
Too often we fall to pieces
And have to try make
The long hard journey
Of coming back together again
And even when we do
You can still see the cracks
Like a vase that was knocked over
And was never quite the same afterwards

We might not be quite so breakable
Except that we break each other
I’ve never seen a vase push
Another off the shelf
But maybe they do and I just wasn’t looking
I’ve never heard a vase tear another to pieces
With a few choice words, watching you crumble
At the edges, and seeing your heart break
But maybe they do and I just haven’t heard
After all
Vases are fairly breakable too

Little bit crazy

Filed under: Uncategorized — anonomousangel @ 5:10 pm

Okay so you may have noticed that I had a crazy amount of posts lately, I’m not entirely sure what happened but I found a list of prompts on deviantart and just started writing and couldn’t stop…. It was somewhat scary but awesome and Saturday was my blogs most visited day ever so thank you to everyone who stopped by!

In other news, it’s nearly christmas and before we’re let out of school for two glorious weeks of freedom they have to shove a load of tests on us… So I’m a fifth year which means my tests are three classes long, which is a bloody long time to be sitting in a big cold room…. =(

I’ve had three tests so far: english, french and maths…. They’ve gone okay, not fantastically but not awfully so I’m happy overall. The strangest thing about these tests though is that I’m actually trying, I actually really want to do well. Like, because our tests are so long we have a long gap between them and a chance to do supervise study, so I went today and I actually studied my maths and one of the things I’d had to remind myself about came up so I was pretty happy about it.

Tomorrow I have to sit what’s probably my worst subject, Irish. The really annoying thing is that as soon as I sit down to do an Irish test, no matter how much I’ve prepared and how ready I feel everything just flies out the window. I can’t even remember words like sometimes and especially, let alone all the different phrases we have for depression or the synonyms I need for the poetry…. it’s just not fair! I’ll just have to do my best tonight and hope that some of the useful phrases will decide to stick around and keep me company during the exam tomorrow, at least it’s second so I can study between them…

Wish me luck?

December 13, 2009

01. letter

Filed under: Uncategorized — anonomousangel @ 1:48 am

I would write you a letter
about the moon and the stars
the sun and the clouds
and how you make me feel
If I thought you’d read it

I would send you a postcard
about sunsets on the beach,
snowflakes in winter
and the colour of your eyes
If I thought you’d reply

I would write you a story
about a princess in a castle
who’s searching for a prince
but I wouldn’t finish it
because I don’t know if she found you

I would write you a poem
about a letter I’d write
If I thought you might care
Do you?

December 12, 2009

06. abandoned

Filed under: Uncategorized — anonomousangel @ 11:41 pm

You blew into my life and captured me
From the first second you held me
Enraptured by your brilliance
Awestruck by your intensity
You barely noticed me
But you were my everything
I was barely a grain of sand on the beach
You were my ocean, my sand and sky
You were only there for a few moments
But you made time stand still
You danced forward, still shining
And left me in darkness
Abandoned

28. can’t

Filed under: Uncategorized — anonomousangel @ 10:38 pm

I try to forget you
I can’t
I try to move on
But I can’t
I try not to miss you
I can’t
I try not to cry
But I can’t
I try to act normal
I can’t
I try to still function
I can’t
I try to keep going
I can’t
I try to stay happy
I can’t
I try to keep smiling
I can’t
I try not to lose me
I can’t
I try to stop hurting
I can’t
I try to keep talking
I can’t
I try to keep thinking
I can’t
I try not to vanish
I…..

04. immortal

Filed under: Uncategorized — anonomousangel @ 10:21 pm

My face is flushed
My mind is racing
I’m not quite sure what’s happening
I’ve lost control
In a good way
I can’t stop this
Should I want to??
This is what I love doing
Something I feel good at
It’s easy, it’s fun
I’m writing
And I feel immortal

23. heartbeat

Filed under: Uncategorized — anonomousangel @ 10:07 pm

You sit next to him for the first time
Can he hear you heartbeat?
Does he notice that your pulse has quickened
Just because he’s there
Does he notice the slight blush in your cheeks
As you make casual conversation
Does he feel anything when he looks at you?
You wish you could change
His heartbeat
Can you?

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